Hi All:

I need some suggestions on how to give feedback when few employees share the same office space. Many times I found myself delaying my feedbacks because I cannot find them alone, and I see it not casual taking them out of their space to give them feedback. When I need to breath I do it, but usually is not inmediate like the podcast suggest.

Also, I want to give some of my experiance with feedback so far.

1. I started only giving positive feedback, that way people will know the four steps. That worked, without a problem, they expected something bad, got something good. 30% behavior continuity. For me that is not that good, but I am a newbe on this model. My old model was not as structured.
2. After a few weeks, I started the model with corrective feedback. Always thinking behaviour and trying to give more than one impact of that behaviour. Almost all of the attemts, at the last step, What are you going to do about that? or What can we do to make it better? I am getting defensive answers like:
* I called to tell I was late. or * I did not complete the task because someone told me not to.
And I decided to give them a break and not ask the question again, even though Mark suggest that to put them on the spot again.

Is this normal?

Other questions:

should I give feedback to skips?
Is it normal, to get some of the younger not looking at my eyes any more after some corrective feedback have been given?

Thanks for your time,


DWElwell's picture
Licensee Badge

Sounds like you are following the model. If you haven't listed to the podcasts on the DISC profile, you might want to. They will help you tailor your feedback to the persons communication styles.

A couple of things I have noticed:
1) Make sure you are upbeat and positive even when giving corrective feedback. If are coming across solemn and serious, this will often put people on the defensive.

2) If they do come across defensive, then, as Mark suggests, refocus to what can be done differently. For example: "I'm sorry the dog ate your homework this morning. But what can you in the future to ensure you get your homework in on time?"


Mark's picture
Admin Role Badge

Last things first.

Yes, the response you are getting is normal. They are making excuses to cover their embarrassment at being told they aren't meeting standards that [b]up until now have not been enforced.[/b] Their excuses are your consequences.

Regarding giving feedback in close quarters... I can't be sure, but I would guess you are makiing the feedback too formal and lengthy.

Whisper. Quietly. Quickly.


"When you're late, I worry about you. Can you try to do that better?'

That's 3 seconds. Don't engage a great deal after that. You could just say, "hey, not really here to debate...just want you to know what happens when you're late. I wouldn't worry about it."

and I would NOT worry about it...either giving it this way, or their response.

It will get better.

Unless you're not doing it with love in your heart. Don't get rigid or formal and stiff and distant.