My question is how to handle an upcoming meeting with my boss and HR. HR says it is a meeting to do conflict resolution between my boss and myself. What should I expect and how should I handle this?
My skip boss was my boss when I was hired. Skip boss didn’t care to follow the guidelines if it didn’t serve Skip Boss’s needs.
New boss told me that New boss and Skip boss made all of the layoff decisions. There have been several layoffs. New boss is very confrontational. In addition to being confrontational about work, New boss has confronted me outside of the office and at work about non work related items. New boss gets upset at me for doing the job I have always done. Instead of asking me not to do certain things any more, I get a lecture about not doing New Boss’s job. New Boss runs office clique and has parties where only some of the office is invited.
In early December I had a good review. Mostly meets expectations. Last year I had a good review.
Three weeks after review I asked a C-executive for advice. I knew that this was very risky, but skip boss and HR ignored me on things I went to them about.
Six weeks after review HR(not C executive) and Skip boss put me on and improvement plan with a 60 days or else clause. Nothing has happened between review and this except my e-mail to executive. Suddenly Skip boss has no memory of telling me to send out product or his involvement in my work. I was given a list of 3 areas to improve, but when I asked for specifics there were none. When I asked for measurable goals, there were none. No discussion by skip boss about my concerns.
I know that there is no continued gain in my development or career in this job. The job market in my field is really bad right now, maybe 40% unemployed.
HR is coming back this week for this “conflict resolution” session. What should I expect and how do I handle it. I asked for a copy of my review at the last meeting and have not seen it. I have been thinking about sending a letter to HR in the form of notes from our meeting and requesting specific measurable weekly goals to meet. What do you think? Also did I mention that New Boss told the entire office about my meeting, before I left the room with HR.
I see a lot of
I see a lot of characterization and vague statements here but not much to really advise on without some more detail.
How is New Boss "confrontational?"
How well does New Boss get along with other directs?
In what way did skip boss not follow the guidelines? In a way that had an impact on the organization's effectiveness?
Where do you see new boss outside of work and why?
Why are the out-of-work parties a factor?
Has the new boss ever told you to start, stop, or continue specific tasks?
What did you say to the C-level executive?
What have you done to try to fit in with the new boss?
Was the email you mentioned the format you chose to ask the executive for help?
Who did you ask for specifics about the "areas for improvement"? What format did you ask for them in? (did you ask verbally, in an email, etc)
I see a lot of
I see a lot of characterization and vague statements here but not much to really advise on without some more detail. Because I feel that the employee work plan is direct retaliation for going to HR, I am trying to not be too specific, just in case. I am wondering what would conflict management look like? What should I expect HR to ask. Should I be truthful if New Boss is in the room? Wouldn’t that look like I’m selling New Boss out? Deserving or not, I don’t believe there is any choice for me except working for New Boss in the current economic climate.
How is New Boss "confrontational?"
Here are some examples of new boss’s confrontational behavior.
New boss sat on some product and then forgot its location, when new boss asked me where it was, I told new boss that I had delivered it to New Boss’s desk several weeks prior. “No you didn’t” I tried to gently remind new boss, then I looked around for other locations in case I was mistaken. New boss just became more and more accusatory. I waited for New boss to go to the marketing meeting and then went into New boss’s storage area and pulled product off of the top of the pile. New boss was outraged. This happens about products, deadlines, whatever. If I pitch in and help New Boss out in a crunch I get comments like "here comes X to the rescue again", unfortunately not in a positive tone. It’s just little confrontational items constantly. I just chalked it up until it became apparent that New Boss was going to Skip boss about me.
How well does New Boss get along with other directs? New Boss is not responding to the one other PM this way. I have witnessed New Boss be confrontation to another on an adjacent team that is assisting on a project. New Boss also addresses the staff in the meetings with statements ending in “and if you have a problem with that you can come and see me.” There are rumors about New Boss’s involvement in firings, but they are not anything I would know first hand about.
In what way did skip boss not follow the guidelines? In a way that had an impact on the organization's effectiveness? Some yes and some no. Not following the corporate guidelines is what Skip boss has listed as one of my areas for improvement. I feel if I clear up the misconception , and tell that I was told not to follow the guidelines I will be outright fired in retaliation, rather than dragged thru this employee work plan. If I come clean, I’ve told on skip boss, If I don’t I am not deigning his accusations.
Where do you see new boss outside of work and why? New Boss and I have children at the same school.
Why are the out-of-work parties a factor? New Boss has stated that new boss makes layoff decisions, and then new boss plays favorites by only going out to lunch with half of the team and only having half of the team to new boss’s house. They are only a factor if you believe that office politics play a role in who keeps their job or tearing down a team. The only factor for me is New boss confronting me for asking another team member if I missed the team Christmas party. I don’t feel that I need to be angrily confronted in the middle of the office for asking. If new boss didn't want us to know, it wouldn't have been on facebook or New boss wouldn't have been talking about it 15ft. from me.
Has the new boss ever told you to start, stop, or continue specific tasks? New boss has never asked me to do my job differently until after I have done something. There is a PM manual, when I do some of the things in it, I have gotten a lecture about not doing New Boss’s job. It is learning what the new boss wants by error. New boss gave me a task list on a job once, I followed it to the letter. I carefully checked the list, turn in the requested work, and went on vacation. I got back and the team has been in a panic all week. New boss has told Skip boss that I didn’t deliver, said we were 4 items short. I go to see New Boss, New boss tells me we are 4 items short. I show new boss the list and new boss says, well it says that, but I always do 4 additional items. New Boss seemed angry with me. New Boss never went back and cleared up what her direction were with Skip boss.
What have you done to try to fit in with the new boss? Sure, I get there are politics. I’ve tried to fit in with New boss. I made a point to go to drinks with the work group every chance I get. I did get invited to New Boss’s house once, but it was just to buy things so New boss got a bigger discount. I thought it was going well for a while, despite the confrontations, but as the confrontations picked up, I was suddenly noticing that people would only invite the rest of us out to lunch when New Boss was not in town.
What did you say to the C-level executive?
Was the email you mentioned the format you chose to ask the executive for help? I asked for advice over e-mail. In the past when I have asked for advice I have e-mailed and then we have a phone call when it works in the executives schedule. I told executive that I needed advice with my New Boss. I outlined some behaviors and tried to speak highly but objectively of New Boss. I'm not sure what advise they could give me, it was probably a really bad move.
Who did you ask for specifics about the "areas for improvement"? What format did you ask for them in? (did you ask verbally, in an email, etc). I asked Skip Boss in our meeting with HR.
Listening to the Casts
This is my first post but this feels like the right place to jump in.
What you are describing seems like situations addressed throughly in the Managing Your Boss and Bad Boss #1 - The Angry and Demeaning Boss casts. I would also listen the the My Boss Skips Me casts for some additional guidance in how to handle your dealings with you Skip Boss.
http://www.manager-tools.com/2006/01/managing-your-boss
http://www.manager-tools.com/2006/01/managing-your-boss-part-2
http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/02/bad-boss-1-angry-and-demeaning-boss-part-1
http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/02/bad-boss-1-angry-and-demeaning-boss-part-2
http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/03/bad-boss-1-angry-and-demeaning-boss-part-3
http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/03/bad-boss-1-angry-and-demeaning-boss-part-4
http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/03/bad-boss-1-angry-and-demeaning-boss-part-5
http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/11/my-boss-skips-me
The long and short of it is this.