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The "Effective Relationships - I'm a C, My Boss is an I" podcast talks about not judging behavior of a High I, even though it may seem wrong to us High Cs.  For example, the High I may not want to have a meeting agenda and is not very concerned if the meeting starts and ends on time.

The MT effective meetings guidance is to have a meeting agenda and start/end on time. I also think this is the right way to do meetings and do judge meetings and the meeting faciliator if they are not included.

Should I accept High I meetings the way they are, or try to push to make them more effective? (One example of many.) 

At what point does does a lack of structure from a High I boss become wrong/ineffective and unacceptable? Anyone else been in this situation? I don't want to limited myself with my High C personality but am wondering how much is too much.

  

pucciot's picture

Yep, Been there.  I understand the frustration.

As a Fellow High C - here is a bulleted list.

 

* Wait - Be patient with your Boss, for as long as it takes. Learn to smile and enjoy the Boss's style a little bit.  Have a little fun with it. Loosen up --- Or at best learn to tolerate it.   I promise you that as you build your patience at work for things like this you will also learn to apply such patience to your friends and family when they show High I tendency.  Patience is a muscle -- exercise it and it will serve you well.

 

* Watch - Watch the Boss.  There is always something to learn here.  Watch for where the Boss is effective with this.  Do other Staff members respond well or negatively ?  Which of your co-workers respond well - which ones don't.   Learn to watch the events unfold as fly on the wall.  You will see something new, you haven't noticed before.

 

* Model - Lean on your High C behavior, but don't lord it over you Boss and Co-Workers.   You can be organized.  You can show up on time and have a structured well organized report.  When you are asked to form a committee or run a meeting you do it in the most effective way.   Don't be prideful or look down on others.  Just do your thing --- and let the rest go.

 

* Volunteer - Eventually, others, Including your Boss, will see your effectiveness (or not) and ask you to help with the meeting or the agenda.   Or the Boss will say "Jeesh...I wish I could be as organized as you."  That's when  you can volunteer. 

"OK - Boss,  would you like to just sit back and participate in the meeting and let me be the Agenda and Clock master ?  I'm up for it as long as you let me start on time/ end on time and have an organized agenda - the rest is all yours."

or Volunteer to be the Chair of your own committee and practice the skills.

 

* BONUS - You can't Change your Boss --- Don't Try.  Watch and learn.  Breath in -- Breath out -- move on.

Things are only unacceptable when they become unethical, illegal, are demeaning or cause real harm.

If the Boss' behavior is none of those things then the rest is only upon your own psychological level of tolerance.{translation : it's your problem}

You will be OK - You will grow.

Good Luck

TJPuccio

 

DJ_150's picture

I appreciate it. I have alienated people in the past by pushing too much for High C type structure, esp where it follows MT recommendations. Loosen up and learn to tolerate it is a great tip. 

My biggest takeaway from this and the cast is shifting my thinking from "this is wrong" to "this is what works for some people". That idea allows me to have much more tolerance for the behavior. I've known about DISC for some time, but somehow excluded using it when thinking about MT recommendations.

Will keep you updated.

-DJ 

firebelly's picture

I'm a high "C" and my last two bosses were high "I". It was torture. I left both of the jobs in large part because they behaved in ways I thought demonstrated incompetence. I had a coworker in one of those jobs who also was a high "I" and she left her position because she also believed our high "I" boss wasn't doing his job. So - there is a line. There is a point at which someone simply isn't doing their job and it can't be excused with their personality type. I think the challenge is figuring out the difference.

Is the High I boss "not doing his job" or doing something "unethical" if he never shows up to meetings on time? My "I" bosses didn't think so. They believed that they had to fully respond to whatever was in front of them and if that meant they were late to a scheduled meeting, so be it. I really think in this situation, you just adapt. If you aren't in charge of the meeting, you can volunteer to draft the agenda or at least get the gyst of what the boss wants to talk about and start the conversation on time, letting him join in when and if he gets there. It may be rude, but I don't think it rises to the level of unethical or incompetent. 

My last boss, however, violated the terms of our union contract on multiple occasions by giving directives without a lot of forethought or planning (As an "I" he didn't like to talk about logistical details) but what really got him in to trouble was that he didn't seek employee input on proposed staffing changes and he didn't listen when HR and employees pointed out to him that he was violating the collective agreement. He dug in deeper intent on "winning." His personality type combined with his arrogance and competitive streak led to employees filing grievances and the union taking his issues to arbitration. That was simply a situation I couldn't in good conscience adapt to and I left.