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Submitted by Mike_p on


Hi Team,

Been a big fan of Manager Tools since finding it this year (has been a great way to reality check my one on ones).

I have a direct who is, by tenure and knowledge, the most senior member of my team of 6. In terms of "doing the job" this person is a very strong performer and it stepping up in terms of assisting/guiding some of the newer member of the team. My issue currently is their behaviour, specifically their attitude towards questions, queries, requests around their specific role.

During the performance review for last year we had several hard conversations around behaviour and specifically the perceptions that is being generated about their attitude by the rest of the senior leadership team I am a member of (my peers). Further to this we discussed the influence their attitude & behaviours was having on newer members of the team and how this was negatively impacting them also (examples of poor behaviour were lack of collaboration with stakeholders, unwillingness to listen to stakeholders, short/snappy responses to stakeholders when asked for simple things, one specific call out around perceived bullying behaviour to another member of the team) .

Whilst some progress has been made, in recent weeks there has been a noticeable change in responses to requests for increases in output, updates in projects/deliverables, opportunities to improves communication to stakeholders. These discussions take place in either our weekly team meeting or 1:1 (this person does not arrive at their 1:1 prepared to discuss anything unless they want to complain about someone else in the team not "doing their job"). The behaviour has a noticeable effect in the team meeting as it creates an uncomfortable atmosphere after the discussion and serves a s a great meeting killer. I actively encourage discussion around ideas but feel this is not necessarily discussion more so it is unwillingness to do more than what they see as the duties of the role (their view of the requirements not mine)

What I would be interested to get some feedback from the forum on is how others have tackled similar situations with senior directs ? I have started to capture the issues at the time they occur for follow up at the proceeding 1:1's however am concerned this person is doing themselves, their career and the rest of the team a disservice if they think this is acceptable for someone wanting to wear the tag as a senior member of the team.

Appreciate any feedback you may.

timrutter's picture

I would reccommend starting here Randel:

How To Manage An Arrogant Producer


Mike_p's picture
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Thanks for the feedback Tim, great place to start and certainly some strategies here.

Aporeciate the reply

timrutter's picture

Hear to help Mike. It'd be good if you can feedback to the thread as you go. Love to hear how you get on


nicelyjj's picture
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timrutter gave the perfect recommendation and request for following up in the forums.

Doing O3s is the first major hurdle so your doing great having cleared that already. I'd recommend adding in some +/- FB about the specific behavior he is demonstrating leading to the bad attitude.

I'd avoid sit downs with long drawn out conversations at all costs. I've been down this road before and have messed it up. I'm still working to build the relationship with the direct report. I may never get there. I was right to ask for the change I was wrong in how I delivered. Small incremental FB is the key.

Let us know how it goes!

Take care,


G3's picture

Agreed. O3's and Feedback appear to be the solution.

Attitude is hard to define. As Mark H. has pointed out in the podcasts, if I say, " You have a bad attitude," then a typical response is, ' No I don't.' It's an ineffective conversation.

You've probably heard alot about and already been implementing feedback. If not, I would work on rolling that out. Focus on positive feedback, first. And we must always be working on building our relationships.

I understand people influence each other and the flow of a meeting. And one other thing to consider with regards to how people feel in meetings might be Horstman's law #7, "How you feel is your fault." Here are the details:

"7.) How You Feel is Your Fault
If you find yourself saying, “that guy/situation/boss makes me mad,” you’re wrong. They did something, and then you decided how to respond. Think about the word responsibility. (Response-ability) You’re able to choose your response.
ACTION›› Choose the right response. Choose not to get angry. Choose to understand why they behave the the way they do. Your response will be more powerful. "

Hope that helps. This information is based on my experience and learnings. I have a long way to go. Take what you like and leave the rest.


Mike_p's picture
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Thanks again to all who have responed, it has been fantastic.

Progress has been steady with some really noticable changes in performance and also in feedback coming from peer's & stakeholders.

At this stage is it slow progress as there has been a return to behaviours of almost 12 months ago which is setting a standard for more junior memebers of the team. Actually preparing for a 1:1 now having spent the last week digesting the output of the Aggregate Bahaviours ar Performance podcast as I think this may help us move past the obvious speed hump around what is holding this person back from reaching thier full potential.

Will update further as this plays out.