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BLUF version:

Is there a proper way of wield intentional, controlled anger in the workplace?

The best analogy I can think of is a military drill instructor who calibrates his shouting to an exact level. How do I learn to do that? Is there a term of art for it?

Detailed version:

Ever since I got my start as a manager in my mid-20s, I’ve managed to keep unusually good control over my temper. I maintained my bearing in situations where most of my peers allowed impatience or fear to override their good judgment.

My insistence on “staying cool” sometimes meant that I got stepped on, taken advantage of, and snookered. Infrequently, a series of problems would escalate until I did explode with rage – so I tried even harder to stay calm under pressure.

Yesterday I had a flash of insight in my role as co-chair of a hobby organization that I facilitate. Because one of the members is so terrified of getting yelled at by the other chairman – which increases my burden when he brings – that I would force myself to display controlled amounts of anger if necessary.

It also seems like a powerful new tool for my managerial utility belt, but I have no finesse at using it. The information is hard to search for online, because the only results I get are for “anger management”.

DJ_150's picture

The answer is no and there's a cast for that:

 

When Angry, Disengage

https://www.manager-tools.com/2014/06/when-angry-disengage

 

viola77's picture

"My insistence on “staying cool” sometimes meant that I got stepped on, taken advantage of, and snookered. Infrequently, a series of problems would escalate until I did explode with rage – so I tried even harder to stay calm under pressure."

First of all - I feel your pain having  experienced  my dam of anger bursting  after "swallowing" it  and I agree that  staying cool may mean all of the things you've listed. The flip side is that while it may feel good and righteous to exercise anger even "controlled" anger this is never a good idea despite the temporary power boost you may feel.  Anger is energy as Johnny Lydon said but it is unproffessional and ineffective and shows a lack of self control which is a negative leadership trait. It also means that people will not trust you and you will be labelled as volatile. The  analogy you use of a drill instructor is in a very specific context and this does not seem to me to be correct to describe it as "anger". 

Sounds to me from what you describe that you reflect on experiences and  are open to learning as a manager. Experience has taught me that I needed on occasions to have more direct and targetted conversations with people to avoid my anger buttons being pushed due to feeling helpless. Working on my communication fault lines helped in this regard. Not a quick fix but and effective one. 

Good luck with everything! 

NLewis's picture

We've all lost our temper at times.  It's nothing to fret over.  It's rare for me as well but unprofessional behavior makes me chafe and I've yelled at my boss a time or two.

It is my belief that maintaining our composure under duress  is the highest form of professionalism.  Rather than seeing it as a negative, consider taking pride in the moments when you "should have told that guy off" but didn't.  What other people do with your composure and compentency is their business.  The best of them will recognize your professionalism rather than take advantage of it.  And that's who I'd rather roll with anyway.  The best.