Good evening, I'm a listener from Portugal.
I'm hearing your podcasts for more than a year and only recently started to internalize the importance of your model. In particular I am starting the One-on-One meetings and understand the DISC and tryng to apply it..
I have a question on which I would like to know your opinion, I am feeling that I am at a crossroads and have to make a statement to evolve positively.
In order to better understand my boss the CEO as a profile "S/C" does not like conflict and does not confront them. I'm a COO with a High D profile. And the problem is that my boss as a direct woman with a High C profile, lawyer. I need her support but she as always has a position of strength and complicates increasingly teamwork. I have a direct on my team with High S profile, she is extraordinary at work but she feels Bullying from the lawyer.
I've tried to keep weekly meetings one-on-one with the laywer trying to solve things, but after three sessions again creating conflicts. She this feels protected by the boss who is also my boss. I dont want get a direct conflict but my directs feelings is that I'm not solving the problems, and we need the lawyer.
Due to my High D profile, this does not make me comfortable. As much as you want pulled the situation without conflict, I feel that I am against a barrier. On the other hand, this month will begin the holidays and talk now can result in loss of time on the other I really have to unlock this situation.
I'm thinking to arrange a meeting with my boss and explain the situation and then a three meeting with the lawyer and CEO and I, trying to find an agreement to begin work best among all.
What is your recommendation?
Thank you and keep up the good work,

Kevin1's picture

Hi Marcos,

I suggest you find another way for 2 reasons.

1) Bringining a personality conflict to your boss when you are at the COO level could be seen as imature and unprofessional.

2) As you have noted, your boss is a High-S and hates conflict.  So you bringing a conflict in front of him/her is just asking for your boss to put black marks against your name.  I think this is where the term 'career liminting move' applies.

Instead, find alternatives.  Use 7-habits, DiSC, Crucial Confrontations or something similar to guide you on how to approach the difficult situation with your peer.  What you are looking for is what it is that is driving her?  What does she want from these engagements?  How can you give her what she wants, make her feel like she is right and still get most of what you want for your direct?  Where is the win-win outcome?

Also, review casts here on MT on the topics of 'peer feedback' and 'how not to disagree'.  These are also great sources of alrternative approaches to the direct approach.

If this ever does come to the attention of your CEO boss, and it hasn't been resolved yet, then you will have a history of attempts to resolve to everyone's benefit.  And this is where you should want to be. 

Hope this helps

Kind regards