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Submitted by Scott-SFBA on


Hi there,

After a recent issue came to pass at work, I was given feedback that I need to be more assertive.  I have known this was a relative area of weakness for me previously.  Any suggestions on how I can take myself to "wolf school" and get to be a lean, mean, assertive machine?

Thank you,



TomW's picture
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Can you give us some examples of situations where you were not assertive enough that we could re-script?

scoobyslippers's picture

 Yes examples would be good as would your personal view on why you feel assertiveness is possibly not coming naturally?

GlennR's picture

Where are you expected to be more assertive?

  • Proactively proposing new ideas/solutions/establishing relationships with your peers in other departments
  • Responding to individuals who challenge your assumptions
  • In group meetings where you're not participating
  • Supporting your directs when they bring up challenges or request resources
enlightened_managing's picture

Example would help but in general people shy away from being assertive because they mistake it for aggressiveness.

Here are a few differences. Ask yourself Which kind of person would you like to become?

Passive people:  don't say what their opinion is at all
Aggressive people:  attack or ignore other people's opinions in favor of their own
Assertive people:  State their opinions while still being respectful of others' opinions

Passive people:  afraid to speak up for themselves
Aggressive people:  interrupting & talking over other people
Assertive people:  speak openly & plainly

Passive people: don't reach their goals and they may not even know what their goals are
Aggressive people: reach their goals and don't care who you have to run over in the process
Assertive people: reach their goals without trampling over other people.  Create win win situations


I have about 10 more of these that I'd be happy to pass along if you'd like.

I also put together an E-Book about how to say No in a nice way that you may find useful.

Good luck!


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asteriskrntt1's picture

Given you posted this on the 8th, got 4 responses asking you for more info, and you have yet to respond to people reaching out to you.  Certainly not assertive.  You established an urgency, then dropped off the face of the earth.  There may be valid reasons for this; however, on the surface it looks terrible.