Joining a Group Seated at a Table

Submitted by Robin A
in
Career Management

I recently listened to the podcast on how to politely join a group conversation.  Great information.

We often have networking lunches at my office.  The room has a large square arrangement of tables (envision a picture frame with chairs around the outside). There is little space to walk in this room, let alone converse, so everyone is driven to come in and immediately sit down.  Perhaps my bad luck, but often the person to my left will be engaged in conversation with the person to their left and the person to my right will be similarly involved with the person to their right.  This leaves me alone in the middle.  What is the best way to join a conversation given this ackward arrangement?  Stand up between them?  Lean over the table?  The size of the table prohibits talking to the person across from me.

Thanks !

Submitted by Chris Donnachie on Friday October 30th, 2009 6:18 pm

People are not often intentionally rude to strangers (outside New York and Paris). If both conversations are 101, pick the most interesting to you and tap you neighbour on the arm - "sorry, I am on a limb here, can I listen in?" they will at the least make room by your neighbour sitting back and going square to the table.
If one is larger then it can be harder to get your neighbour to make room. Conversely you can be louder to cut across the conversation without appearing rude. These groups tend to be one talker at a time and the rest being an audience. If your neighbour is cutting you off with their back, a small tap and "this is really interesting, do you mind if I earwig?" is enough to get them to turn and let you join the group. As soon as you can, do try to speak, even to say "yeah".
Am-dram: Sit down with effect and an opening remark enough to gain interest. "Whew, sorry I'm late - ran over a deer, ruined the car  and the meat."
Join Toastmasters.
Chris