Hi Guys, some of you have probably been in this situation as well so it would be good to know your thoughts.

[b]BLUF: How do you deal with one on ones that are slowly becoming a ratting session?[/b]

Some background:
I have five directs I regularly have one on ones with. Being a small team there is limited (almost no) choice on who goes on projects.

Unfortunately in one of the last projects, the PM (a high D) had clashes with the tech lead (a high S) because of the way each was doing work. Although, ultimately the project was delivered on time/on budget, the relationship has been a bit marred.

Now for the past one on ones, both have taken the occassion to criticize each other.

Initially, I would go through the process of asking them what they have done to remedy the situation and whether they have given feedback directly to the other. This happened twice.

On the third one on one (for both), I decided to give a feedback along the following lines:
To PM: to be effective as a PM, he needs to learn to work with team dynamics otherwise he will eventually fail in a project and I will not trust him on additional projects.
To Lead: to focus on results and that if he/she does not produce results, it makes the team feel bad and the PM will be tougher on him and his requests for vacation.

Now, although things seem to have calmed down... It feels that there is an air of indifference rather than towards team work. So I'm thinking if I handled this the right way?

Sorry for the long post and thanks


sholden's picture
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I have noticed the same behavior in my High D's to use the 1on1s I am doing to provide me back feedback on how others performance is not acceptable to them.

I am still working on a good approach. I like yours. I am interested in other thoughts on the subject.


Mark's picture
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The air of indifference is normal. They're licking their wounds.

I recommend you stay firm here. They are responsible for maintaining a polite and professional working relationship. Hold them to that standard, and give feedback - GOOD and bad - when you observe behaviors in this area.

For now, though, things are fine. Give it time.


jprlopez's picture

Thanks for the encouragement Mark.
Good to know the reaction is normal.

With the holiday season coming up, I can see the ice has been thawing out as well. I'll keep everyone updated on the situation as it develops.