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Submitted by Nigel on
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I'm doing 1:1s with all my directs save one. I sense HUGE resistance from him. People have told me that he has mocked the 1:1s behind my back. He is more experienced than others on the team and therefore feels 'above' needing a 1:1.

I understand why he feels that way. Prior to listening to MT my 1:1s were 30 minutes of me talking/training. I conceded that he wasn't benefiting from them and suggested we stop (to his delight).

But now a few months have passed and I am doing 1:1s the MT way. I want to get him re-involved.

So my approach has been to 'convert' everyone else over to the new 1:1 format and hope the positive buzz it generates will bring him to my door. Or at least when I ask him to resume, I'll have had enough practise and could promise him a new kind of experience.

My question: is my approach flawed? Should I rip off the bandage and just 'make' him resume 1:1s with me?

bacchus1106's picture

I have a similar situation with a direct that doesn't feel the one on ones have any value. Any feedback would be great.

iand_66's picture

IMHO there is a thin line between love and hate and there is also a thin line between skeptic & convert. Win him over and you will have an evangelist on your team. (BTW I'm not a gambler but I'd bet that he's a High C)

Chances are if he's been with the same company/in the same role for a while then he's become battle weary ... he's seen initiatives come ... and go before. This one won't be any different, right?. Seems like persistence is the key here.

Should I rip off the bandage and just 'make' him resume 1:1s with me?
err ... YES. If you have introduced a new system in YOUR department then it should be applied evenly ... why is he so important that he can pick & choose the rules that he adheres to?

cowie165's picture

[quote="iand_66"]
If you have introduced a new system in YOUR department then it should be applied evenly ... why is he so important that he can pick & choose the rules that he adheres to?[/quote]

Great advice! I wholeheartedly agree. [b]I have also noticed that O3s took around four or five meetings to 'start cooking'.[/b] Before then, they were a little strained and felt a little forced.

Now that I have built a rapport with my guys I feel we are all getting more out of the O3 and the supervisor<->direct relationship is stronger for it, even the direct that initially resisted and didn't want a bar of it.

Press on I say! :D

Mark's picture
Admin Role Badge

Next thing you know we'll be talking about whether or not people need to come to work to get paid, or whether they should follow the ethics policies if they're really a top performer, or just skip inspecting some of those parts, because I'm tired today and don't feel like it.

He works for you. It's mandatory. This is how we manage here. Lack of attendance is cause for feedback. Credible knowledge of rumors is cause for feedback. Repeated such instances is cause for systemic feedback about unwillingness to change, which is the kiss of death.

Rip off the bandage.

Mark

cowie165's picture

[quote="mahorstman"]Next thing you know we'll be talking about whether or not people need to come to work to get paid, or whether they should follow the ethics policies if they're really a top performer, or just skip inspecting some of those parts, because I'm tired today and don't feel like it.
[/quote]

Love it.

Mark's picture
Admin Role Badge

Even a blind hog finds an acorn every once in a while.

H

Nigel's picture
Training Badge

Met with the skeptic this week to provide Q2 interim performance review and to set-up our first 1:1 for next week. The review itself, at that point in the conversation, actually turned into a 1:1 and I could tell that we BOTH enjoyed it. It was the most we'd communicated since we started working together.

No doubt - I should have ripped the bandaid off sooner.

Mark's picture
Admin Role Badge

No worries! Yesterday is dead and gone. Now leverage the goodwill by maintaining healthy communication today and tomorrow.