BLUF: How do I balance "what could have been" against "what is right now" while aiming for "what could once again be"?
- been with the company 7 years, in the same department (account & ancillary feature setup)
- gotten 3 promotions in that time (pretty well above average for the company)
- in Oct 2008, was promoted to Manager (tax setup, a specialized group)
- in July 2009, was "reorganized" back to "individual contributor" (ancillary feature setup)
I knew it was coming; I even prepared my team for a month before the offical reorg came through. It's the decision I knew they would make and, in theory, on paper, the right decision. I was shunted off to work for a VP I've still to this day never met in person. We did not get along very well for at least the first six months but seem to have moved past a significant portion of our communication issues and are communicating fairly well, which is saying a LOT.
In the time since the demotion - over the last year - I've applied for three other positions and landed none of them. I'm starting to get discouraged and feel as though it's never going to happen for me again.
I report to the VP but have "day to day" reporting to someone else - someone I used to report to directly but then was my peer and is now a quasi-boss again. I don't respect this person at all and I'm having a hard time finding my way to a healthy, professional mindset.
It was a lot easier before I got the manager position to kick back, observe and muse to myself "I would have handled that differently, I could have done a better job."
It's a LOT more difficult to kick back, observe and muse to myself "I used to handle things so much differently, I did such a better job at these types of things" and then bitterness creeps back in.
I know - accept where I am now. I'm not a manager, she is. I have to report to her and I can't shoot my career in the foot by bad-mouthing her all over the place (or even to a single person.)
It seems to be a no-win situation. I want to move forward but feel like I won't be able to unless or until I'm able to fully embrace & accept that I'm a peon which is virtually impossible when seeing reminders of my past almost constantly.
So how do I balance "what could have been" against "what is right now" while aiming for "what could once again be"?
Any pep talk - words of wisdom - insight - advice - bitchslaps welcome. Really and truly. Hit me with whatever you've got - I just can't keep going like this any longer. It's driving me crazy. (Or, according to my husband, crazier.)