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I have found as a manager that most employees aren't ready when the come to speak to me about issues. I regularly tell them to relax, get their facts together, and pretend its a presentation.

Most of the time, I get a lot of flustered faces or voices, and that seems to be the same for my peers and their directs.

I found a blog called Ask a Manager, (http://www.managerqanda.blogspot.com) and it was giving really good advice (much like my own :)). I think I am going to use that as starting point as we go into mid-year reviews.

This is a great forum!

WillDuke's picture
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The one on one is about them, not about you. If you make it about you then you lose the benefit of the meeting.

Relax, let them have their way a little. You'll get your 10 minutes after they have theirs. :)

HMac's picture

[quote="gormanw"]I regularly tell them to relax, get their facts together, and pretend its a presentation.[/quote]

Maybe splitting hairs here, but I don't think it's a "presentation" and I wouldn't put that picture in their head - because an O3 is so much more interactive than a typical presentation. Plus, lost of people dislike the idea of giving a presentation - so I don't want to associate the O3 with something they would rather not do.

The easiest way to help them prep is also the most straightforward:

1) I explain the objective and the benefits that it has for both of us

2) I show them the M-T form I use to capture my notes (so there are no "secrets")

3) I send them a link to the O3 podcasts if they want a lot more background (and maybe have an interest in becoming better managers themselves..).

-Hugh

bffranklin's picture
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O3s definitely aren't just a presentation. As Hugh says, they're about building a relationship, which means that they're about what the direct cares about.

I recently attended a happy hour for a former colleague that one of my directs had also worked with. The pleasant shock on my direct's face when conversation turned and I brought up his recent search for a new vehicle and his dissatisfaction with driving a Compass on the highway (that had been mentioned in a previous O3) was all the proof I needed that these things work. It was also all the proof I needed that the non-work stuff can be far more important than the work stuff.

clemgr's picture

I have had this experience with a few directs you must allow them to come as they are with what they want to bring, even if that means 10 minutes to talk stuff.
The time will come when their 10 will lead you to discuss their development.
With one direct after 5 03s I suggested we take our time to the next level and plan for their future roll and how to get there.
Once I took the lead and suggested this they came prepared to review previous 03 topics.
Yes some days they still want to come in and shoot the bull and I let them this facilitates feedback they are as receptive as you are in your 03s.

clemgr's picture

bffranklin
[quote]The pleasant shock on my direct's face when conversation turned and I brought up his recent search for a new vehicle and his dissatisfaction with driving a Compass on the highway (that had been mentioned in a previous O3)[/quote]
I would suggest that you think cautiously about bringing up subjects which came from your O3s.
My directs know that I will not repeat anything said during 03s unless they open the door.
I have promised them that even potential insignificant topics will not be shared without their initiating and willingness for me to weigh in.
This is the only way to maintain trust "what is said here stays here" period!

I say this only to protect the integrity of One on One relationships.
With some directs this may not be an issue however some will lose trust.

AManagerTool's picture

Hmmmmmm,

Postcount = 1
[quote]I found a blog called Ask a Manager, (http://www.managerqanda.blogspot.com) and it was giving really good advice ([u][i][b]much like my own[/b][/i][/u] ). [/quote]

*eyes up gormanw*

bffranklin's picture
Training Badge

[quote="clemgr"]
I say this only to protect the integrity of One on One relationships.
With some directs this may not be an issue however some will lose trust.[/quote]

Clem, I partially agree. There are certainly things that don't go beyond the O3. On the other hand, I have a goal of building an honest relationship with my directs, and I really feel that it would be hampered by having to privately ask permission over the most minute detail. If Bob tells me he has the softball championship tonight in our O3, I'm going to ask him tomorrow how it went in front of whomever happens to be there.

Mark has said numerous times that o3s don't need to be private, they just need to not be public. It's okay to hold one walking through the building; people will overhear tidbits but not the whole picture. You save anything really sensitive for a closed door meeting in true privacy. I think something as innocuous as the experience test-driving a particular car is not in the "don't tell anyone" bucket.

Under the assumption that all managers are ethical, nothing of concern should ever make it out of the O3.

-B

clemgr's picture

bffranklin,
I believe I must begin with your words [quote]I partially agree[quote]
I have been exposed to the field of professional counseling through my spouse and close friends.
I believe I have taken the framework for such relationships and applied them in my O3s.
I am pleased you were compelled to respond, I must remain aware of both these positions in future 03s.
Clem

cwatine's picture
Training Badge

[quote="gormanw"]Most of the time, I get a lot of flustered faces or voices, and that seems to be the same for my peers and their directs.
[/quote]

Time will do.

Just time and you paying attention not to try to rush things, not trying to take control.

I think Mark said in the first podcast about O3 that : "management is not sexy" ; "management is like tectonic plates movement"

And

O3 are just the opposite of a presentation. If you need to dynamise the conversation a little bit, use the questions in the guidelines of the O3.

eschenk's picture

[quote="gormanw"]I have found as a manager that most employees aren't ready when the come to speak to me about issues. I regularly tell them to relax, get their facts together, and pretend its a presentation.

Most of the time, I get a lot of flustered faces or voices, and that seems to be the same for my peers and their directs.[/quote]

Gormanw,

I think one thing that can help is to have your directs prepare a day in advance for their O3 with you. Preparation helps to structure the time and helps them to relax because they know ahead of time what to expect. I submit to my manager an agenda a day ahead of time (on the advice from M&M in the One-on-One's for the Direct podcast).

You can suggest (I don't think it would be good to require) that your directs submit to you an agenda ahead of time of what they want to talk to you about.

I agree with what others stated previously--O3s is time for your directs to talk to you--it's not about you.

cwatine's picture
Training Badge

Ernie-

I have mixed feelings about sending/getting an agenda before O3s if this is what you meant. I personnally never asked/gave an agenda for O3 (*).

In my personal opinion, O3 should stay simple and quick and I am afraid that having to exchange agendas before would make it more difficult and "unnatural". Also, for me, it would be too time-consuming.

Maybe, some very high "C" would benefit this kind of process, but I am not even sure. Also, I did not get the advice from the podcast? Do you remember if it was in the beginning, middle or end of it?

Céd.

(*) Except for the first Email I sent them when I initiated the whole thing : I wanted them to know exactly what would happen during the first O3 and I wanted to show to each of them that their peers also would have this O3 with me. It was the only time.

eschenk's picture

Ced,

My manager never asked for an agenda, actually based on the O3s for Directs podcast I initiated sending my manager an agenda for my O3 with her. I did get her permission to do so ahead of time.

Actually, I am a high "C"--maybe that's why I like having the agenda to follow (my manager I think is also a high "C"). I find preparing the agenda helps me to think through what is important to talk about with my manager. I do not require my directs to send me an agenda--I do suggest it though.

I would have to go back and listen to that podcast to find the specific reference to agendas but I am fairly certain it was in there.

cwatine's picture
Training Badge

If you and your manager feel better that way, I think it is the best way to go.

[quote="eschenk"]I would have to go back and listen to that podcast to find the specific reference to agendas but I am fairly certain it was in there.[/quote]

Ernie-

I'd be grateful for that, but please don't spend too much time on that.

Céd.