We have a hardworking, overburdened internal support person who handles a huge range of resources (from software to client meeting setup) for many groups including the one I manage. How can I rebuild a functional working relationship with her?

As a high D/C it is hard for me to accept delays on items that I think my group needs. She has strong/loyal relationships with several folks here (a real motivator for her), and I sure wish I did - it would make my work life easier plus more enjoyable! Are there any suggestions you would to the list below? Fire away, I'm willing to try anything.

  • As a high C, make sure I only ask for what I really, really need.
  • Give as much notice as possible and always ask nicely.
  • Figure out what people who have good relationships with her are doing right, and do some of those things.
  • Accept that she doesn't report to me and must juggle demands from many people, which means I will not always get what I want, or in the timeframe that I am hoping for. Remember other things she has come through for me on. Be patient.
  • Seek ways to communicate with her besides asking her to do something.
  • Any time she asks me for help, help her.
Sibshops's picture

DISC is more communication style than building of relationships, so I don't think it would apply here. Have you considered the old Dale Carnegie way?

Kevin1's picture


There is a whole series of casts for Developing Internal Relationships which would be a perfect place to start.

You may wish to consider Internal Support Roles and Their Responsibilities; Jump Starting Internal Customer Relationships; Do I Need to Apologise?; and No Dropping Dimes.

All of these will help to better understand what she are dealing with and how you can best accommodate and appreciate her.

I would also try and work out her DISC profile and work that into your communication with her. If she is a High -S, for instance, then you will need to give her more of your time and talk about people with her before getting down to business.

Also use DISC to work out how best to thanks her. Would she prefer an email with her boss cc'd or a casual thank you in the tea room when others can overhear?

Good luck

G3's picture

I second Kev's suggestions. 

Also, link to podcast about "resolving conflict with internal support" here:

MTFER's picture
Licensee Badge

What worked for me was to just say "hi" in the morning and recognise her good work to others.

Also, try the last suggestion "help her out".

Good Luck


engineering_mgr's picture

Helpful suggestions everyone, especially the podcasts. I just am not wired to figure out this on my own, so am glad someone else has.