Submitted by mwdonohue on
in
Forums
I need some advice/guidance from the forum:
I was in a important planning meeting today related to a program of which I am a key member. The meeting was made up of several senior executives - I was the most junior person in attendance. The meeting was held to make some key decisions around changes in the direction of the program. As the person closest to most of the decisions being made in this meeting, I felt I needed to interject, appropriately, at key points to clarify the impacts of the decisions. I was sitting directly to the right of my skip-boss (boss's boss) and I noticed every time I began speaking he would signal with his hands for the meeting facilitator to hurry things up. The meeting was running late and I know it wasn't based on the content/quality of what I was saying (my management team is constantly asking me to speak up more in these meetings). The behavior, to me, was minor but also disruptive, rude and demeaning.
Normally, I would let something like this roll off my back. However, 3 things convinced me to approach my skip-boss about the behavior: 1) It was only happening when I spoke - making me believe he was aware the behavior was somewhat rude but waited until I, the most junior ranking person, was speaking to do it. 2) this person is new and since coming to our team has been very vocal about getting lower level management more involved in senior level decision making - this behavior seemed to contradict that objective. 3) If he is doing it to me, he is doing it to others.
After the meeting, I quickly and privately took my skip-boss aside and ran through the "peer-feedback" model. I fumbled it a little (I was nervous). He apologized but also gave me that fatherly "I know best" smirk and hurried off to his next meeting.
At the time, I felt it was the right thing to do. Now, I am worried that I over stepped my bounds. This person is extremely approachable and I want to be seen as being confident and capable of dealing with senior level executives but was this too much?
Thanks!
Bold....but wise?
I admire your boldness, and you should hope that he does, too.
It's unlikely he admires your judgment, however. It's called the "peer" feedback model, not the "two levels up from you" feedback model...for a reason.
The behavior you describe does not seem disruptive, rude or demeaning. Even if he was only doing this while you were speaking, you could have taken it as a signal to, well, stop talking.
You describe yourself as "a key member" "closest to most of the decisions" and that you needed to "clarify the impacts." Could it be that he found your "need to interject" disruptive and rude?
And you need to be more skeptical of your own assumptions: how can you be so sure he's doing it to others? Executives often say they want to hear the truth from below; proceed with caution nonetheless. There are politic and impolitic ways of joining the decision making. Trust me - there were dynamics and issues unspoken and invisible to you in that meeting. Maybe you were invited in the hopes that you would listen carefully this time to understand their perspective, rather than use it as an opportunity to tell them what you think.
OK, so you overstepped your bounds. Can't change the past. What to do? Move on. At the next opportunities to work with this guy, be very respectful and solicitous. Make sure you don't let any hint of your feelings come through - except those that indicate how much you admire his leadership. That doesn't mean you can't speak your mind. It does mean you should be very careful of crossing that line again.
This is the #1 thing to do: Get a copy of Marshall Goldsmith's "What got you here won't get you there." Great book. Do the exercises in the book. Take to heart the messages therein.
John Hack
But therein lies the catch 22...
John,
I appreciate your advice. I originally wrote about 3 additional paragraphs to defend my perception of the situation but, in the end, whether I was right or wrong is irrelevant - your response is valuable.
The real question is what happens when your boss, or your boss's boss exhibits behavior that you feel is counterproductive or contradictory to my success or the success of the organization. I know I am not supposed to manage up but I can't be successful if I am getting mixed messages. Is it ever appropriate to give feedback up in the organization? If so, how?
Thanks,
Mark
Perspective
You say, "whether I was right or wrong is irrelevant" yet you are convinced that you have the perspective to determine whether "your boss's boss exhibits behavior ... counterproductive or contradictory to my success or the success of the organization"
Your desire to give feedback is based in your conviction that you are, in fact, right.
Feedback up is almost always problematic. Fundamentally, you don't know the issues or priorities at that level. Your program may in fact be expendable (due to a pending merger they can't talk about, or a shift in strategic priorities). Or your career success may not be as important as the success of the program or some other program they're not talking about but was the real agenda item. Maybe that meeting was partly to see if you were ready to take on a larger program. You were poked with the proverbial umbrella...how you feel is up to you.
So a few thoughts.
First, senior management doesn't want to hear about why things are problematic or how their initiative is going to create problems. They want to hear creative (or even mundane) solutions to the challenges. They want problem solvers. They don't want people two levels down "clarifying the impact of their decisions." That may seem harsh, but it's reality.
Second, treat every interaction with senior management as if it is an evaluation as to whether you're ready for a promotion. Because it is.
Third, (here's the answer) the higher up you go, the more complex and contradictory the operating environment gets. Mixed signals from above transmute into mixed signals from customers and the markets. Learning to operate effectively under conditions of uncertainty is key. No one has all the answers; they're all trying to figure it out, too. Become part of the solution; take in what they say, ask smart questions, and then be willing to make decisions on your own.
Finally, change your behavior, not theirs. Work with your boss. Ask how you can be more effective in meetings. Ask the managers for feedback (there's a podcast on that). Read Goldsmith.
If you're good, you'll get promoted. And again. and again. Then they'll be working for you, and you can give them feedback.
John Hack