I am looking for some help on how to deal with an employee that I have had a great relationship with for 6 years not only at work but hanging out outside of work.  One day out of the blue he said that he wanted a promotion and raise. I told him that we would talk about it next week during his yearly evaluation.

Over the next couple days he was going around telling people that he was getting a promotion and was very excited. He was talking to a coworker about it infront of me and said if I don’t get this then I will just find a different job.  This upset me because this was the first time that he has brought this up and to make a threat like that was very unprofessional.  As I was working the processing talking to HR and my boss while keeping him informed on where I was in the process I finally told him that I need to talk to HR one last time and then we will sit down and talk.  The next day I talked to HR and as soon as I got back to the office he was asking me how it went and what I was talking about in there. I never told him that I was going there so he was spying on me as he even mentioned how long I was in there for.  I didn’t say much and after a minute he said are you going to tell me what was said in thier or not. At this point I got upset and said no it was a private conversation and it is none of your business. A few minutes later he stands up and said I need to go to HR to see where their at with my promotion.  When he came back he said that they told him that it was up to me and he wanted to know when it was going to happen and how much of a raise he was going to get.

Two days later I met with HR and the employee and went over positive things that he has done and then how much he made that year (which was very generous wage).  I proceeded to talk about some things that I felt he needed to work on. (a) issues getting along with a few people, (b) how is is not engage outside of work (fundraisers, retirement parties, donating to the building project, (c) gossiping. Finally I talked about some of the things during this process that I felt that he did was unprofessional. I said that lets come up with a plan to work on the things that I talked about and revisit this in a year and I think that I can move you into the roll that you want.

Now, two months later he is still very mad at me so I brought him in and talked about it.  He feels that he deserves a promotion immediately based on the work that has done however the other things that I mentioned were irrelevant to a promotion. At this point I don’t know what to think or how to proceed with him.

Any advice would sure be greatly appreciated!!


Od1HP's picture

Two things come to mind. It sounds like you may experience some conflict between the role as manager and private friendship. I get the impression that you are closer to this employee than the ~"can you be friends with directs" podcast recommends. If you are able to sustain this level of outside work relationship with all your other directs then it could be OK but it sounds like he is a bit too comfortable.

The other thing that strikes me is something from ~"should you give a raise" podcast, added pay is superficial motivation and if he values this so much he might be on his way out any ways or may not be worth keeping. Give him feedback on how his behaviour during this promotion talk period is negative and stick to your guts about the needed improvements. Sounds like youre handling this well, let him leave if he wants to

pucciot's picture
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In addition to what is said above ....


Please let this Direct know that you have to act with integrity for the Organization and must show your own bosses that both you and your direct have done all of the needed preparations for a promotion.

And that you cannont gauranetee anything.  That the whole processand decision is an overall organizational decision.

If he is really a friend he should want to work with you for your own success and inegrity.

Let him know that you will follow the 150% Rule and 18 month Rule and that you need to document the deomonstrated results

I would suggest that you ask him to LIsten to the PodCast(s)

18 Month Rule Of Promotions

Getting Ready To Be Promoted: The 150% Rule


Here is the rest of them :


Good Luck