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This may be a simple question to the group, we are having problems with two employees who had a personal relationship outside of work. One of the employees has made a serious claim (went to the police) and filed a report. We have taken care of the issues and during the process relocated one of the employees so they were separated. It brought to light that we do not have a policy on relationships of two employees.

I am tasked with creating a policy for this issue and I am slightly stuck. Any thoughts on what a policy on relationships should include or do you have one that you would share?
:?

terrih's picture

PM me your email address and I'll send you a PDF of the appropriate page of our employee handbook.

Terri

tcomeau's picture
Training Badge

We have this policy:

[quote]
ST ScI may employ relatives of persons already on the staff, with the Director's approval.
[/quote]

Looking at the org chart for my Division (about 120 people) I see five married couples and three couples who have long-term, intimate relationships that are not legally formalized. There is a pair of married managers, and a married couple in the same Branch. (My old Branch.) There is one project lead who has lived with a senior manager for many years, and he sometimes manages her work. (It's a skip.)

There are also quite a few people, seven in my Division I can identify immediately, who are in relationships with people elsewhere in the organization: Married couples, both short and long term relationships, and one triad.

The "Managing Through a Personal Crisis" podcast pair may be helpful. The key is to focus on the work, not the relationships people have outside of work. If one of my directs who did [i]not[/i] have a relationship was involved in a problem that affected work, I would try to figure out the appropriate action. If they [i]do[/i] have a relationship, I would hope I would not treat it any differently.

We could not attract and retain the best people if we had any kind of prohibition on people's personal relationships. When it affects the work, we expect managers to deal with it, and the good ones do.

I won't tell you it is easy. We have had divorces, stalker girlfriends, had people terminated for sex in the office, and one really tragic sudden death followed a couple months later by a suicide. (He literally couldn't live without her.) But if you tried to force me to choose between Fred and Mary, or David and Denise, or Chris and Mike, or Maria and Tony, I would not know how to choose. I need them all.

tc>

TomW's picture
Training Badge

[quote="mobrian"]This may be a simple question to the group, we are having problems with two employees who had a personal relationship outside of work. One of the employees has made a serious claim (went to the police) and filed a report. We have taken care of the issues and during the process relocated one of the employees so they were separated. It brought to light that we do not have a policy on relationships of two employees.

I am tasked with creating a policy for this issue and I am slightly stuck. Any thoughts on what a policy on relationships should include or do you have one that you would share?
:?[/quote]

My thought is that as long as it does not affect their work, they can do what they want outside. If it affects their work, it gets dealt with through (gasp!) feedback and coaching.

terrih's picture

The only stipulation in my company is that one can't report to the other. In one case, we have a married couple where the wife would ordinarily report to her husband; the workaround is that she instead reports directly to the VP in their chain of command.

I have 2 DRs who are married to each other. The situation has had its challenges, but nothing unmanageable. Fortunately they fill different roles, so I don't take a double hit when they go on vacation together. :lol:

Terri

bflynn's picture

[quote="tomwaltz"]My thought is that as long as it does not affect their work, they can do what they want outside. If it affects their work, it gets dealt with through (gasp!) feedback and coaching.[/quote]

I'm with Tom. The issue is not that they have a personal relationship outside of work. The issue is that they had a dispute which involved law enforcement and that impacted the work situation.

I believe romantic relationships aren't a good idea between coworkers because the potential for something going wrong is much higher. However, they happen all the time despite the existence of policies to the contrary, I suppose because workers are human. I say roll with the waves and give feedback when it impacts their performance. Otherwise, do you [i]really[/i] care?

Brian

thaGUma's picture

The workplace is the main arena for meeting others for a large proportion of people. Relationships are inevitable in most organisations. We have to adjust preconceptions to a more modern paradigm. Managers with 'soft' skills come to the fore as business is more about relationships and results (oh - was that Covey out of context? :oops: ).

Your business plan adjusts to take into account changes, personal relationships are part of that. There is a lot of positive energy from these relationships too - think if all that free time spent talking about work!

Any policy you write should put the onus on openess on the individual to report when personal life negatively affects business life, which is no greater than would apply to everone else. Any attempt to fetter relationships will drive things underground and should be avoided.

Good luck.

Chris

Mark's picture
Admin Role Badge

I recommend no policy on this. Policies restrict, are miscommunicated, and are often used simply to find ways around them.

If it helps, we have a one page employee manual:

[i]You work here.

The firm trusts you.

Do what you think is best.

In humble appreciation of your service to our clients,

(Signed)[/i]

Seriously: you really CANNOT have a policy about extra-professional relationships without opening yourself up for a lawsuit.

But, if you must:

Managers will determine appropriate actions when extra-professional relationships affect work performance or the appearance of professionalism in the workplace. This policy does not proscribe said relationships.

Ugh.

Mark