Submitted by extimes on
I've been working with my manager for nearly 3 years now and consistently get great feedback from her and from the projects/clients I manage. Since March (and COVID), I've rolled off of long-term client intiatives and found myself on numerous internal improvement initiatives, along with most of my team. As part of these initiatives, we've been meeting for peer/group review sessions where everyone provides feedback.
Since the internal initiatives have started, my manager has become increasingly vocal about her disagreement with my comments and ideas. Moving from talking to me about them in our weekly one on ones, to mentioning "let's talk about that separately" to kill conversation around my ideas, to telling me "no" and that "you are wrong" in front of the group, while not exhibiting this behavior for anyone else. I'm cool murdering the unchosen alternative and marching to the orders received, so this isn't me banging on the same drum, it's unique input that's being shot down.
I'm the most senior and longest tenured on my team, but I have been "off" on long-term client engagements, so I don't have the quantity of projects that my peers do managing projects "our" way and my input has been dismissed as being "not how we do things here" despite my execution being consistently rated higher than my peers.
How do I say to my boss that I don't appreciate her dismissing my ideas, especially in front of the rest of my team and her peers?
I'm usually in the high D camp and my manager is probably either high D or DC.
I don't know that you can
I don't know that you can tell your boss that you don't appreciate her dismissing your ideas.
Something I recall from the podcast Do NOT Give Feedback To Your Boss: Tell your boss the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Another podcast that might be helpful is Managing your boss.
Agree with ngwill
IMO, your boss knows that she is doing this and doesn't care that you don't like it. She may be trying to set the stage to justify letting you go, especially since you say you've always receveied good feedback in the past and now it has changed to negative.
I have sympathy for your situation- been there before myself.
Something to try
You could try this- "Hey Boss, it seems like i've been getting more negative feedback lately, and I want to do better. Do you have any suggestions for me?"
A few more possibilities
Sorry for all of the posts- we are rooting for you to succeed!