I am about to start the one-on-ones and everything has gone well apart from one report (a high "C"). Who replied that he did not want to discuss anything personal in the One-on-one.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?

jhack's picture

Talk about work.

Really, over time, it will be fine. There will be folks who don't talk about their personal lives. Talk corporate strategy. Ask him about his career, his thoughts on the new whatever process, etc.


thaGUma's picture

I agree with John, the key is to get your direct's comfortable with the idea that part of the O3 is directed by them. A high C should be happy with an opportunity to bend the boss's ear on whatever issues they want in excruciating detail.

The personal stuff may surface later.


toaster's picture

Thanks Guys,

I will keep on track. Thank you for the advice.

TomW's picture
Training Badge

It's totally fine. The more important part is that the direct feels they can talk about what they want. It's all about them, so they should feel no pressure to talk about things that don't affect work (now if something personal IS affecting work, then it would be a good forum for that person to bring it up).

WillDuke's picture
Training Badge

10 minutes for them to talk about what they want to talk about. It doesn't have to be personal. It could be their idea for a organized systematic documented system that would benefit the company by standardizing operations. Hey, they're a C. The goal is for them to be heard by the boss.

Dani Martin's picture
Licensee Badge

BLUF -- Ask anyway! Show them you care.

I have had DR's who rarely talked about personal stuff. They didn't actually say "I don't want to talk about anything personal" but during their time it was all business. When it was my time, I'd ask about their spouse/kids (by name, of course!). It took a minute or less, to ask "How's Joe? How's Sue?" They'd usually respond with a one word answer -- "fine" or "okay." And then I'd move on to my business items.

This is my main point... every single time I'd ask, I'd see a little smile and their face would soften just a bit. When I started noticing that, I realized that it was the right thing to do. And I kept asking - every week. And it made a huge difference in my relationships with them.

It won't turn your High C's into High I's (not that you'd want to!) but it will show them you care. And they'll remember that.

toaster's picture

I wanted to give some feedback on this to close the loop.

The reason for "nothing personal" was because the guy was thinking about leaving and left.

The O3's have become the best meetings I book each week. I have learned so much from them. I mean WOW... how did I manage people effectively without them!

Thanks everyone for your support