Den's picture Submitted by Den on
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Hi all

My manager is keeping to avoid any feedback or personal conversation. He is a tech guy who used to be a quite good architect. The organisation is transitioning from a tech firm and is considered unprofessional in many ways by most people. 

And hey , he started one on ones!  Where he stoically keeps to the technical questions.

I had a conflict with a technical staff who in my view was showing not so professional and offhand behaviour, shouting.  Well, I was blamed for making trouble (made it my fault he got pissed and rude). 

Still I resolved this and confronted my manger that we should talk about people management and behavioural aspects. He battled through that meeting and i can't get him on track still. 

For instance, that conflict spread through organisation, and while i made it up, the news about reconciliation and the effort i made seem to stay with my manager and do not travel to HR or CEO who still seem to think I am the troublemaker (which is partially true in general sense  :).  

Want to hear your ideas on my actions now regarding my relationships.

cruss's picture
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Submitted by cruss on Wednesday June 19th, 2013 5:38 pm

Den,

I may not have followed your question exactly, so I'm sorry if I missed the point.

When I read "confronted my manger" and "i can't get him on track still" it really sounds like you are trying to manage your boss. 

This is Dangerous at every level and exactly the opposite of what MT recommends. I can say from seeing this first hand that it never ends well for the direct. You should be focusing on fitting into his management and communication style and delivering the best results you can. As many on the forums have said "Make your boss look good."

Here are some relevant casts that you may want to listen to if you haven't already.

http://www.manager-tools.com/2006/01/managing-your-boss

http://www.manager-tools.com/2006/01/managing-your-boss-part-2

http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/10/disagreeing-with-your-boss-part-1

http://www.manager-tools.com/2009/10/disagreeing-with-your-boss-part-2

http://www.manager-tools.com/2012/02/do-not-give-feedback-your-boss

If I'm way off base here, please excuse me. If you can clarify your question I'm sure others can be more helpful.

Canyon R

Den's picture
Submitted by Den on Friday June 21st, 2013 11:14 am

 I had kind of expected this kind of answer, though I did not think it will be that strong in the direction of not managing my boss )

Thanks a lot for you opinion and advice. Looks like i will have to adapt and hope to gradually grow on this relationship.

dmb41carter36's picture
Submitted by dmb41carter36 on Friday June 21st, 2013 8:32 pm

My experience is that people who have issues like you mentioned rarely change. If it gets that bad, at some point you may want to consider another job. Either a lateral move in the same company or jump ship to another company. Either way, you end up with a new boss. I totally agree with Gladwell (I think that is who said it), who stated the most important factor in employee productivity is the relationship with their boss.

Good luck in your quest.