Submitted by lefrinj on
in
Forums
Hi. I'm writing my first review of a direct since listening to MT. How do I do it without sounding like it's a school report card?
Our review form needs some work, in my opinion, and there's only a small place where I could put my summary statement, or something like one. But I'm finding that, while the Achievements section can be written using resume achievements (saved £x by creating system Y), my other parts end up sounding like:
'Joe's work is excellent. His communication with others is courteous and encouraging. I'd like to see more improvement in his reporting, although he has shown improvements in documentation this year.'
I'm tempted to continue: He plays nicely with the other children, and sometimes needs reminding to go to the toilet.
I don't know how to make it sound less like I'm his teacher. I'm usually good with words, but not for this, for some reason. What sort of style should I aim for? Has anyone got some examples (anonymised) that I could get some hints from?
Thanks - Dev
By the way, I know about SEER/Sum-Ex
I've been looking around some more and just wanted to say before anyone points me to the SEER model that I remember that, but I'm still finding it sounding like a teacher. I've looked online a little for sample comments and they're similar, so either they suck too, or I'm worrying too much about the feel.
I don't have a lot of space on our standard form, and I know the recommendation is to stay within it, although we're a small organisation and the form is a few years old from when we were even smaller, and someone decided we need a form - so I may be able to influence some change. Any good forms out there we could get some ideas from?
Thanks again!
Why did you write school reports?
You go to school to learn how to write - among other skills - so you can write reports, reviews, analyses, etc.
You're using those tools to write the review comments. I think you're being too critical of how the comment reads when you're done. You have very little room, so the sentences need to be concise and simple. Hemingway did quite well using short, concise sentences.
My only criticism in your example comment is the phrase "I'd like to see..." in your bullet. The achievement is about the direct, not about you. A better way to write the last sentence is: "He needs to continue to improve his reporting and documentation skills." That's shorter, contains all of the information, and removes you from the bullet point. You're writing the bullets, so of course everything in them is your thoughts or opinion. Stating such is unnecessary.
Another thing I'd caution you about is to insure the comment matches the evaluation mark. Don't give someone "10 of 10" on the marks, and then complain about inadequacies in the comment. Likewise, a "4 of 10" performer shouldn't have words like "excellent" or "outstanding" in the remarks.
Not imcompatible
Sorry, added to wrong thread
Kev