High C getting overwhelmed by Double D Troubles
I'm stuck in a difficult situation and any ideas would be very much appreciated.
I'm a High C manager with a High D either side - i.e. my main DR and Boss are both way High Ds.
The DR is arrogant, rude, dismissive of me and her peers, constantly argues with me when I'm asking her to do something and often goes completely against what I've asked. It's exasperating. When she's around people at my boss's level, she puts on a front and is as nice as pie.
My boss, who I would like to go to for advice in handling the DR, gives me nothing but criticism - not even adjusting feedback, just negative blah blah and points out what already know to be my weak areas as well as finding things to destroy me with that I wasn't even aware of or are just her (wrong) perception. I'm told that I shouldn't crack down on the DR because she's so good at her job (she is efficient but I worry about corner cutting) and even threatens to promote the DR so that we become peers - and thus would the real monster arise, as she would see her rudeness and arrogance rewarded and probably escalate the behaviour.
Can anyone help me before my head explodes?