Coaching Card
Use the Manager Tools Coaching Card to guide you in your coaching efforts. On the coaching card, you’ll find specific guidance on each step of the coaching process, as well as a diagram of the coaching model.
Print the Coaching Model before listening to the Coaching Podcast to follow along with the podcast.
August 29th, 2005 at 1:27 am
[…] ToolsCoaching Card […]
March 2nd, 2006 at 10:09 am
I have a question. I have an employee that does not take criticism well. She immediately goes on the defensive to the point of anger when even the slightest critique is made. How can I effectively approach her and begin a dialogue that will benefit both of us?
March 5th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Kim-
Sorry this took me a couple of days.
First, it’s hard to give you detailed guidance because I don’t know what you mean by criticism. I’m not a big fan of criticism. I don’t consider feedback criticism. It’s been my experience over the years that just use of the word criticism means that the manager may be delivering performance information in a way that negatively impacts the reason for giving it (which is always to encourage effective behavior).
So, first off, adopt the feedback model.
That said, let me offer this: Spend a few minutes for me describing a typical example. What had she done that you were going to talk about? Where and when did you talk to her? What did you say (as close to word for word as you can)? What did she do? When you describe her response, avoid describing her emotions - because she doesn’t “do” emotions - she “does” behavior. Ask yourself what words she says, how she says them, and what facial expressions and body language she exhibits.
With that, I can make a more specific suggestion.
I look forward to hearing more,
Mark
March 6th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Hi Mark,
I’m new to your website. I wrote this question before I listened to your feedback podcast. I took careful notes while listening and approached the employee just like you described. The feedback went really well. She even thanked me for discussing the issue with her. I was totally blown away and now I’m listening to more of your podcasts. Thank you so much!
March 6th, 2006 at 7:38 pm
Kim-
Your note made my day! Glad you listened, and learned, and APPLIED the model. Isn’t it funny to think that so few people know this stuff? This IS management, but it’s just not taught…(other than here).
It’s a privilege to be helping you,
Mark
April 1st, 2006 at 12:15 am
The feedback model works fairly well on boyfriends, too. Thanks for your help!
April 1st, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Tanya-
Ohhhhh, we won’t be going there! Mike and I will say that it works very well in family situations. My kids know it well. And, it’s with my family that I learned the real value of making it about behavior and not the person, and about doing it with love rather than putting someone in their place or having an edge to it.
Glad you’re a listener!
Mark
April 27th, 2006 at 5:51 pm
[…] Attitudes are not behaviors, and doing something about an employee’s “attitude” is more likely to cause trouble than to fix it. Instead, coach an employee to improve observable, measurable behavior. […]
May 17th, 2006 at 9:04 pm
what an exhilirating feed to my irrational brain…thanks for sharing the basics of the feedback model.
rod
August 26th, 2006 at 10:48 am
Great job, guys. I’m a college professor and have had astounding results with your coaching, feedback, and DISC model podcasts. Communicating with entire classes has been fascinating. I also teach high school and college music, and knowing a student is a high S or a high D has made a world of difference in my pedagogical approach. While I’m not a typical manager, I do oversee a number of people, and I’m grateful for the help you offer us all. Thanks!
August 26th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Carol-
Thanks for the kind words! We’ve been hearing from a lot of non-managers about the applicability of our work.
DiSC is NOT always helpful in groups. It’s too hard. BUT…answering individuals, and coaching, is where it can make a huge difference.
It’s our privilege to serve you.
Mark
November 29th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Hi Mark/Mike
Can the feedback model be used in meetings or is it best to keep it in face to face situations?
If I used your “interruption” example from the podcast. I think it would be take very badly. Hi Mark/Mike
Can the feedback model be used in meetings or is it best to keep it in face to face situations?
If I used your “interruption” example from the podcast. I think it would be take very badly.
I.e.
In a meeting you get interrupted and after you take your one breath you ask the interrupter (while his peers/managers are present) “Can I share something with you?” “When you interrupt, like you just did.” “This is what happens”….and so on.
November 30th, 2006 at 12:57 am
NO NO NO.
NEVER.
In the cast, we stress that feedback is given “Not in public.” Your suggestion is SO much in public it makes me shudder.
Mark
December 21st, 2006 at 11:53 am
What has worked well for me….
The “game” is not you. Just like in professional sports…. the “game” can always be improved and is not a reflection of your individual character.
This has helped my coachees objectively evaluate their behaviour.