Resistant Directs In One on Ones

Submitted by mauzenne on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 00:16.
in

This guidance recommends how to have effective One on Ones with directs who are initially resistant.

One of the most frequently-asked questions from managers who have not yet tried One on Ones on a regular basis is, what about the direct who doesn't want to have them?

Frankly, there's a part of us that discounts the idea behind the question. [Don't worry – we're still going to address it. ;-) ] There certainly are some managers who, after having bought into an idea, will then project themselves forward and attempt to figure out problems they can foresee happening. But we think far more of those managers who ask this question are simply creating artificial roadblocks around the idea that this won't work for me, or, my team won't tolerate this. We even talked to a manager once who told us his team would "never" go for them after several of his directs were already doing them with their directs because of our podcasts. That's a great example of handling cognitive dissonance – being willing to create a truly artificial reality to support the worldview you want to have.

But okay, what can the rest of us do when someone doesn't want to professionally respond to the opportunity to communicate regularly?


  [Play in Popup]

Extra Content
Legend:
    Members Only    Manager Tools Individual License
    Career Tools Individual License    Interviewing Series
    First Job Fundamentals   
Bookmark and Share
stephenbooth_uk's picture
Submitted by stephenbooth_uk on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 17:47.

Repurposing?

 I had been under the impression that the purpose of O3s was to build a trusting relationship with your directs so that when you introduce other parts of the trinity they would be more receptive.  After reading this cast (I'm a reader more than listener so read the show notes more often than listen to the casts) I got the distinct feeling that O3s are being pitched more as a stick with which to beat your directs.

 Point 7 (give a poor review to resistant directs) seemed particularly egregious, in particular in context of point 4 and the corporate culture/zeigeist of most of the places I've worked.  "Because I won't co-operate in your weekly fishing expeditions to turn up some ammunition from my personal life you can use in future against me and I keep our meetings strictly to work related matters you're going to cut my pay?"  Not exactly likely to make me trust you and be receptive to any future ideas you may have.

Stephen

--

Skype: stephenbooth_uk (Please note I'm on UK time)

DiSC: 6137

Experience is how you avoid failure, failure is what gives you experience.

vonigan's picture
Submitted by vonigan on Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:43.

O3 socks 'pulled up' by once resistant direct.

So I took up the challenge - I've recently been promoted into a management role, and one of my direct reports (that I worked at the same level of before) was initially resistant. Resistant qualification: come into meeting with folded arms; immediately started off with 'I have nothing to say", advised that "I'll stay standing - don't intend to stay here long", and offered no suggestions for improvement. I persevered offered no -ve feedback.. The first meeting was awkward and we've had a few ups and downs in meetings since. I took the stance that the more information I can flow through to my direct of company operations would prove my good intentions and actions. 

Suffice to say, I won't be getting a personal meeting with M&M based on this challenge (shucks!).

Yesterday I ended up in meetings for just about the whole day with my boss (I therefore couldn't escape), and today, my once-adamantly-opposed direct 'pulled up my socks' on my missed O3. Today's Friday, so I still have a shot at getting in this week's O3.

Guess it's now on my shoulder: management is for the persistent, consistent tasker.

Vaughan
DISC: 1377