What To Say?

This post was inspired by one of our members who emailed me some of the shockingly inappropriate and insensitive things said to him when he lost his job. I won’t repeat them here, but like those who find themselves recently divorced or bereaved, Paul’s experience was that many people said whatever came into their head, no matter how unhelpful, hurtful or uncaring that might be.

Years ago, I had a conversation with my mother about platitudes. She told me they exist so at times when it is very difficult to find the right thing to say, we can say something which is not upsetting. We may not be able to find the one thing to say that will comfort our friend, or the one thing that they will remember but we will have expressed our sympathy in an appropriate way. Given that no one sentence is going assuage their grief, looking for perfect is pointless anyway.

Paul went on to say that since he left his job, it’s the only thing many people talk about with him. He wants to have a conversation about football, wine or cigars, and it seems that no-one can get past the fact he has lost his job. So if you do know someone who is in a similar position, feel free to discuss last nights X-Factor, the basketball scores or your vacation. He’s still human and still wants to connect with you.

This post ends with a happy ending. Paul sent me an email yesterday to let me know he has a new job. We hope it goes great for you Paul!