Meal Interviews (Part 2 of 2)

How do I get some put in my mouth by

How do I get some put in my mouth by using a fork or a spoon for example out with the same fork or spoon?
Isn't it more appropriate to use your napkin? I'm not interested to see a piece of chicken or fish what is already chewed on getting back on the fork of the one sitting next or in front of me.
I always use my napkin (or a tissue) - not that it happens that often.

Best regards,

Patrick van der Meer
The Netherlands

Patrick- Sorry, but etiquette says

Patrick-

Sorry, but etiquette says if it went in with a fork, it comes out with a fork. in with your fingers, then it's okay to take it out with your fingers.

It is not more appropriate to take it out with your napkin. Sorry!

Mark

Yeah, but. I know that's what Amy

Yeah, but.
I know that's what Amy Vanderbilt says, but trying to maneuver some piece of masticated crud back onto a fork without losing it always struck me as being.... difficult. So, in line with the matra "go big or stay home," swallow that sucker....or bend down to tie your shoe and get rid of it.

Walt

PS -- don't send your estate after me if by following my admittedly poor recommendation results in a cessation of breathing and/or other bodily functions.

WVH- Didn't your mother teach you

WVH-

Didn't your mother teach you ANYTHING? LOL.

I think that there are times when etiquette can be discarded, and this can be one of those times. There are ... alternatives.... as long as everyone understands that there's a right way..and then there are other ways that work just fine and can be forgiven (if in fact anyone at your table knows what's right to begin with!)

Mark

I enjoyed listening to these podcasts.

I enjoyed listening to these podcasts. Thank you.

What do you do if you have dietary restrictions (e.g. vegetarian, kosher), especially when the restrictions are, well, very restrictive. All that talk about steak houses on the podcast really hit home; I am often in situations where there is little to nothing on the menu that fits my restrictions. Even items that may appear to be innocuous such as rice or beans are usually problematic for many diets such as vegetarians since they are often cooked with chicken/beef broth or pork respectively. Folks on more restrictive diets such as kosher won’t be able to eat any cooked item on the menu. Foreign travel can be even more challenging in this regard.

Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you,

Dennis

Dennis- Call ahead when you know the

Dennis-

Call ahead when you know the location. When not, eat in advance. I know several friends who have this concern, and they have adopted the rule that there will NOT be anything to eat where they're going, and they plan for that.

Mark

I had a friend who always ate a little

I had a friend who always ate a little bit at home before he was going to the place he was invited for dinner. So he was sure he would not "jump on the food" as soon as it was on the table.

Don't you think it is a good trick in order to "control your appetite" during the meal interview?

Two thoughts: 1) As a manager,

Two thoughts:
1) As a manager, whenever I'm inviting someone to a meal, whether it's an interviewee, a colleague, or whatever, I almost always ask if there are dietary restrictions the person would like me to know about. Working in a very multi-national environment with a bunch of ecologists, dietary restrictions (particularly vegetarian and even strict vegan are quite common).

2) With respect to the salad comment in the 'cast: If a salad is invitable, ask for the dressing on the side. Dip your fork lightly in the dressing and use that to carry over a small amount of dressing onto the bite of salad you're about to eat. You get a much more reasonable amount of dressing and it's not likely to drip. It's an old Weight Watchers trick, but I suspect that doing this has saved many a tie.

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Great advice - just finished an interview

Dear Mike and Mark,

I just finished a 2 hour interview and listened to your two podcasts on the way -- Mark -- I got the message and it was good!  Thank you for the clear, clear message that it was an interview not a meal.  The advice was golden and I did well because I was not distracted by a wimpy piece of dripping lettuce or splashing sauce -- although I had to be careful because we ate at an Italian restaurant.  The advice helped me stay focused on the goal at hand -- answer questions and bring out my strengths.  Everyone was drinking but I stuck with Coke.  It was all good.  Thank you guys, you give the best career advice on the planet.    Jeff Bissell