How to Remember Names
May 12th, 2008This show describes a couple of simple techniques to help you remember people’s names.
Whether we like it or not, other people are part of our professional lives. And, as Dale Carnegie sagely noted, “A person’s name, to that person, is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
But how to remember them? It vexes the best of us.
And one of the keys: you really don’t have to.
PLEASE NOTE: If you downloaded this show and got part 2 of the Meal Interviews series, I’m sorry. I’ve since corrected the problem. You should now get the correct show.
May 12, 2008 Update: iTunes still showing links to the wrong audio file. Hopefully, iTunes will soon reload the RSS feed and point to the correct file.
May 12, 2008 13:48 GMT Update: iTunes has now refreshed the feed. If you downloaded the wrong show (sorry), you may delete the show within iTunes, refresh the podcast list (alt/option click the disclosure triangle next to the Manager Tools podcast), then download the podcast again by selecting the “Get” button next to the latest show. Sorry for the troubles!
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May 11th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
The itune feed for this podcast is wrong (at least for me). The itunes feed downloaded the meal interviews (part 2 of 2) instead of “how to remember names”. The link on the web is to the correct podcast. Thanks, Anandha.
May 11th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Sorry Mike, I’m still getting Meal Interviews, part 2.
May 11th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
The download works - The ITUNES version still has Part 2 of the Meal Interview.
Great cast though.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:50 am
Thanks … looks like I really messed this one up!
Working on getting this corrected … thanks for the patience!
Mike
May 12th, 2008 at 9:12 am
How do you address the problem where you can not understand the person’s name?
I’m working a lot more with people of different nationalities. Some of these are face-to-face discussions. Some of these conversations are phone/video meetings where someone there has brought in someone new that I wasn’t told about ahead of time. I’ve tried doing the “excuse me but I didn’t quite catch that”. Then they repeat it and I still don’t understand or think I could repeat the name. I don’t want to butcher their name either. On top of it, I don’t want to commit a cultural offense either so I don’t know what to do.
For meetings, I do have the fortune of later asking the moderator/caller of the meeting to send me the invitee list. But I feel sunk at the meeting. A lot of the time when I’m looking around the meeting, other people have puzzled looks on their faces too.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Minor Detail: When using iTunes on Windows use the SHIFT key
(copied from another blog)
First, make sure that the podcast is collapsed (the small grey triangle next to the name of the podcast
is pointing to the right). If it is pointing down, click it to collapse the podcast.
Now, hold the Option key (the Shift key on Windows) and click the triangle again to expand the podcast and tell iTunes to get a list of all the episodes. You should now see the familiar orange circle with white arrows next to the name of the podcast, and iTunes will tell you it is updating this podcast in the message area at the top.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Many thanks tlh, you are obviously used to working with us geriatrics.
May 12th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Ditto, TLH - I was really getting frustrated with this - if you hit “refresh” or “update podcast” (at least in my version of iTunes), nothing happens - only the SHIFT-click technique worked. No idea why this is the case. I also tried deleting an older cast to see if there was a general problem, and until trying the SHIFT-click, I couldn’t get that one back either!!
May 12th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Hey, it’s my pleasure to assist.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
All I got when I tried to listen was a 6 minute segment of the cast. I do not use iTunes to listen to these casts.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:24 am
Mike: Looks like the RSS feed is updated with the right version for the non-member feed, but not for the Members Only feed.
May 13th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Scratch that! When I tried the “shift-click” method described by arc1, it finally updated. Deleting the earlier version and using iTunes regular refresh button (to update ALL podcasts) didn’t work. Nor did the “option click” method you suggested. This is the kind of arcana that makes iTunes fun! Not!
Glad to have the podcast.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Disclaimer… I have not listened to the cast yet so if this contravenes a MT guideline, I apologize in advance.
Ms. Sunshine - When I have trouble with a name, I admit to the person that I am struggling with their name, ask if they could please spell it out s-l-o-w-l-y for me, and then reinforce that I am trying hard to master it but it may take a few attempts. I have never had anyone not cooperate with me.
*RNTT
May 13th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
The show is all of 6 seconds long. Methinks something is amiss here!
May 13th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
tlhausmann, THANK YOU. the shift/click method works and I got the full cast. I had spent 20 minutes trying all sorts of other key combinations with no luck. It is really nice to have people who will share their knowledge.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
How long is this cast, this now I am getting about 23 minutes.
May 14th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Great Post, Thanks to you Tom and Jerry or is it Laurel and Hardy ? … Sorry for this bad “humour”.
Thank you for underlying those important things : we are bad at remembering names :
- when we are focussed on tasks rather than on people
- when we don’t really pay attention
When we high “D” begin to think “people” rather than “task”, everything gets better (and tasks done !).
Cédric.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
jhbchina,
The podcast is closer to 40 minutes … most likely, you have a partially completed download. The typical resolution is to delete the podcast, clear your browser cache (if listening in a browser) and try downloading the file. If using iTunes, the steps outlined in previous comments should do it.
Sorry for the troubles!
Mike
May 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
The Art of Great Management, Horstman’s Laws…
I was searching online one day to find ways to improve the overall moral and associate performance at my place of business and came across this great set of business ethics tools from Manager-Tools.com . Manager Tools is a weekly podcast focused on hel…
May 16th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Excellent cast on a very practical topic. Somewhere in the middle, your talk about “skill and will” sounded almost like you guys were going out of your way to address people who might reject your advice? It struck me as odd, because you guys ALWAYS make the point that every listener can choose to take advice, adjust advice, or reject advice - as long as I understand that I’m also choosing to live with the consequences of my choice, good or bad. Maybe I heard something that really wasn’t there - just keep up the great work!
May 20th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Btw. I thought i was losing my mind when this podcast turned into meal interviews part 2. I was like, “I already learned that. Now where is the podcast I’ve been looking for for years!?!”
I really thought my ipod/itunes were taunting my inability to remember ANYONE’s name. Thank you for fixing the cast
Again, I can’t wait to listen to it Marvin and Mel… I mean Marshall and Matt… I mean Milo and… Stitch?…. Well anyways, i’ll get it right after the show
QD
May 25th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Hi There!
Very practical and very useful in day-to-day life.
My two cents. I never forget names and faces. May be God has been kind to me on few skills, this being one of them.
What I can definitely say is this - You need to have a genuine interest in people. Everyone is unique. If you are truly interested, within a few minutes of your conversation, you will notice. And of course, in the process, you remember the person.
For me, it is start from the beginning. It is easy to remember the hotshots (or you have to!). What matters is do you remember your vendor who delivers the necessities, your laundry keeper, a person who served you food …and even a taxi driver with whom you spent 45 minutes while going to the airport.
Satya
June 7th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I love one of the main points you guys make: simply being conscious and putting in the effort to remember a name makes a huge difference. I never liked all those “tricks” I’ve heard to remember people’s names. I’ve tried what you have suggested and have already improved a bit. Thanks!
June 7th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Darrin-
Cheers! Well done sir.
My favorite will always be, “I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.” And my favorite part of it is that its’ NOT a trick. It’s just…graceful.
Mark
August 4th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Mike and Mark,
I had to smile, I just finished this podcast yesterday, and the HR manager at the company I just applied made a point of complimenting me on properly spelling her name in our correspondence.
It really does mean a lot to people.
Dave
August 4th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Dave-
Well done!
Mark