How to be Effective in Everyday Conversations
October 1st, 2007In this cast, we describe how to be effective in everyday conversations.
We’ve spent a great deal of time on managerial communications, and for good reason. Managers rely on communication to achieve the very basic requirement of their role: aligning and inspiring others to achieve more than they could do on their own. As a former boss of mine was fond of saying, “you may be smarter than me, but you’re not smarter than WE.”
But, there are a lot of different kinds of communication. We’ve talked about meetings, and feedback, and coaching, and late stage coaching, and delivering reviews…and there are hundreds more.
Including plain old conversations.
Conversations are our most FREQUENTLY used verbal communication form, aren’t they? So why does everyone want to know the right way to do all those other managerial communications – like feedback: “do I REALLY have to say FEEDBACK?!?” - but nobody seems to ask about conversations?
In this cast, we’ll share the MOST VALUABLE CONVERSATIONAL COMMUNICATION TOOL you’ll ever learn (that your mom didn’t teach you).
Members-Only 
Premium 
Interviewing Series
Stumble it!Trackback URL for this post: http://www.manager-tools.com/2007/10/how-to-be-effective-in-everyday-conversations/trackback/
October 2nd, 2007 at 7:49 pm
First I have to say thank you guys so much (and everyone else in the community) for your training. I love the interview series and all of your podcasts.
I am attempting to see the slides for this podcast and for some reason they are not coming up, it keeps on asking me to log in, but then rejects my password. All of the other slide presentations come up right away, can you tell me what I might be missing?
Thank you again and I hope you guys have a great day.
Bryan Glassman
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Bryan,
Sorry to hear you’re having troubles … I checked your account and the logs and can’t see anything wrong. I haven’t heard of any other issues, but who knows, maybe I’m missing something.
Anyone else having troubles accessing the files?
Mike
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Yes, when I “save as” via RSS feed or use GET via ITunes the resulting file is only 9s in length. I had the same issue with the 2006.10.30 Member Only podcast, I posted a comment but never got a response (would love to get that one too). Btw, thanks for making my commute educational and enjoyable.
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Btw, if I choose to play the file I hear 9s of the intro
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:37 am
Very interesting cast. Implementing the recommendation has had the side effect of forcing me to think more clearly about what the other person is saying. And the formulation of a good question forces me to put my ideas into their context - a very powerful construct for persuasion.
Thanks for the BFO, guys.
John
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:05 am
I had to look it up…
malapropism: 1849, from Mrs. Malaprop, character in Sheridan’s play “The Rivals” (1775), noted for her ridiculous misuse of large words (i.e. “contagious countries” for “contiguous countries”), her name coined from malapropos (adv.), 1668, a borrowing from Fr. mal à propos “inopportunely, inappropriately,” lit. “badly for the purpose,” from mal (see mal-) + proposer “propose.”
Another great cast, gentlemen! Thanks!
October 4th, 2007 at 12:50 am
Fyi, I can download sucessfully from another pc, so the issue appears to be on my office pc.
October 5th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Hi MTers,
Another great cast guys! Thanks for all you do to improving the practice of Management all around the world.
I had a question about colsing everyday conversations. Some times I get into small talk or regular conversations and things go well …. I make statements, maybe add a story for some spice, and most of the time I end with question. However when it’s time to end the conversation I more often than not blow it. Either the conversation fizzles slowly away with some ackard silence and chairs back around. Or I just can’t end the conversation with a powerful close, so that everyone involved knows that I’m intending to end the conversation.
I see others end conversations well, but I still don’t seem to be able to pick up on the details of what make them close well. Any hints? Maybe a future podcast?
All the best.
October 6th, 2007 at 7:02 am
OK, guys, you ARE GOOD !! Here I thought I was one of the “functioning” conversationalists - whatever I thought that meant - and then you come along and cut me down to size. Well done !! Back to actually listening to the other person and then doing it the right way. Thanks - even at the shame of repeating myself - YOU GUYS ARE GOOD!!
October 10th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
I love this simple technique and will try it out. It strikes me that this relates closely to one of the Seven Habits: “Seek First to Understand, Then Be Understood”, which I like very much and often teach to my reports. This technique really focuses ones attention (especially us high-D’s) on validating and understanding the other speaker’s point throughout the conversation.
October 12th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
I’d love to hear your thoughts re gnewby’s statement (above): good ways to end a conversation.
November 12th, 2007 at 6:18 am
Another good podcast - but too long. You spend too much time talking about what you are going to talk about - 8 minutes on this one until you got into the meat. 30 minutes could have been cut to 20, easily.
I find myself wanting to press fast forward - or skip to anohter podcast because it is not going somewhere fast enough.
Great suggestions though…
November 12th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
ChinaLamb, you really ought to consider the “tone” that you put in to your comments.
I’d be more explicit in this, but I suspect I’d lose my posting privileges. Suffice it to say, there’s no “magic pill” to learn this stuff, it takes time. The podcasts have been running at these lengths for some time now, with an ever growing an appreciative audience.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
I totaly agree with heinlein, this is a good application of the seven habits.
However, I want to thanks guys to bring theory into practice
I’m looking forward to see all these casts in video format.