How do I know that thank you notes - the actual item, handwritten and mailed - are dying?  Because I don’t even get EMAILED thank you’s anymore when I do favors.

I recently spoke at one of the Top 10 MBA schools in the country, as a courtesy to a student group there.  I gave the speech - 3 hours, I think - without charging them for it.  I stayed and answered questions for about an hour afterwards.

I didn’t get a single thank you note… and only one thank you email (from the organizer).

And it gets worse. 

During the speech, I mentioned that we didn’t have time to cover a specific topic that I knew would be of value, and that perhaps I could figure out a way to get them some information on the subject.  Well, I may not have gotten any thank you emails, but I did get requests - repeatedly - for the additional information.  I came up with the information… and still no thank you notes, nor thank you emails.

I feel strongly about this, and want to set an example. I really like speaking, and I like being able to do it for free.  I’d like to continue this favor I’ve been doing for nearly 10 years, but I’m not going to.

I won’t go back.

As you go through your life, so busily accruing all the things you want, don’t be so busy that you forget to say thank you, don’t be so busy that you act as if these things you want are due to you. They are not. 

A little humility and gratitude - a thank you note, a kind word, a small investment of your time no matter how valuable you mistakenly believe that it is - can increase your chances of getting more of what you want, while also helping others get what they want.

Or, you can withhold the kindness, get your treasure, and laugh at others who lose the benefit because of your selfishness.  If it’s a race and accruing things is your goal, you’d win.

But you’ll have to watch your back.

I hear this phrase all the time.

Please stop. 

It is both misleading and damaging to your reputation.

It is misleading because you don’t intend to imply that you weren’t being honest a moment ago…but that’s the inference you’re allowing.  When it comes to managerial communications, a reasonable inference allowed is an implication assumed.  One must communicate not only to be understood, but so as to not be misunderstood.

And a reputation that you are selectively honest is the kiss of death.

“I know, Mark, I know, I don’t really mean it.  It’s just a figure of speech,” you say.  “What I’m trying to get across…”

I know what you’re trying to get across, and I understand.  But say what you really mean:

I’ll be candid with you.

Mike and I would like to thank all of our members who spent time helping fellow member Alastair with his performance metrics challenge. But rather than paint the lily, we’ll let Alastair say it, from his comments to the original post:

Firstly may I say thanks for all the great responses. My thought processes are racing once more after having been stuck looking at the problem.

The main things that I take away from this brainstorming are:

Involvement: I can sit here and define indicators to the nth degree but without the involvement of the team in defining these there will be no buy in and therefore limited success.

Feedback: I think it can be very easy to underestimate the power of the feedback process, and as problems hit it can be very easy to focus on the negative behaviours with the result that positive feedback suffers.

Community: What a great sense of community this site is developing. I know where to come when I am stuck, and will gladly offer my two pennies worth when I think it will help.

A BIG THANK YOU to everyone out there!

Alastair

Thank you all. We’re excited you’re part of our community!

Mark recently blogged with our first ever management koan, “What Would An Effective Manager Do?” It was clearly a big hit - we got 45 responses within 2-3 days. Clearly, many of you wanted to know what the answer is, and that’s great - the burning desire to get better is at the heart of all good managers. Maybe we should say “many of US” wanted to know, since even Mike posted a comment wondering about the answer! (Mark thinks that was just him being nice to everyone, putting everyone out of the misery of waiting.)

So, this is a first for us, a show driven completely by a blog post and its response. In fact, we had to juggle a lot to slide it into the lineup, and it’s certainly unusual for us to record a show and put it right up on the site.

And what’s the show about? Well, don’t you want to know what an effective manager would do? We’re going to learn the right way of thinking on this issue, and then we’re going to review every unique blog comment and provide insight as to what works and what doesn’t.

Below is an excerpt from a member on the forums. We’d like some help for him regarding coming up with performance metrics for his team. I feel that most managers don’t use metrics because they think there are “right” ones, and since they don’t know what those are, they do nothing.

So, let’s have an asynchronous virtual brainstorm, giving Alastair as many ideas as we can. Here’s the situation, edited:

I am a Supervisor with a parcel company. I am trying to define performance indicators to help me manage the performance of my staff (15 of them). The problem I am having is that the flow of the work is dictated by the volume of parcels that come through the depot and it can fluctuate dramatically. I have gut feelings about which staff work harder than others, but there is no way of gathering data on what they are actually doing. I started using the feedback model about 4 months ago and it deals with behaviours I don’t like but doesn’t help with identifying and managing performance. There are 2 main phases to our operation Primary and Secondary sortation.As the primary sortation progresses some of the people drop out into the Secondary operation which involves them working on their own sorting a van round into courier drops. When the Primary operation finishes the rest of the team help in the secondary sortation assisting those who are already in that side of the operation. Which can mask which of the team is not pulling their weight. This primary/secondary process goes on throughout the night as lorries arrive with parcels to be processed. Unfortunately the company IT systems have not been written with providing Line managers with performance data in mind and I have no way of accessing electronic information that will assist in a timely fashion. What I am left with is a subjective response from myself with no data to back up what I perceive to be poor performers.

Remember the basics of brainstorming:

• Our goal is MORE
• We’re not trying to be right, we’re trying to be TALL.
• No idea is bad – don’t self censor
• Peanut Butter rule
• No evaluation or critique
• Piggybacking is encouraged
• Wild ideas are GOOD
• Speed is REALLY GOOD
• No questions (they will not pass moderation)

Who’s first?

I read in WSJ the other day a horror story about holiday travel plans ruined by the storm late in December.  Thousands - actually, tens of thousands - of folks were stranded, some in airports, and many in a far worse place: on a plane, on the runway.

I won’t go through the details, but after nearly 30 hours of delay, one passenger said this:

“The most maddening thing was that no one from [the airline] ever approached us and apologized.  I still don’t understand what happened.  If I had an explanation from [them], I’d feel better.”

She didn’t ask for someone to make it right.  She didn’t ask for a voucher, for food, for a hotel, for anything that cost anything.  She just wanted an apology. 

When are we - not just airlines, but any company, division, department, team, manager - going to learn that apologies are the grease that smooths a crisis… and often the glue that holds a dissatisfied customer to a vendor who has stumbled?

Pride is like your vegetables: it doesn’t taste terrible (except for asparagus), and swallowing it is good for you.

Smile. Swallow. Repeat.

I responded recently to a question in the forums from a manager who had been spending the first 5 minutes of every team meeting discussing the latest rumors with his team.

I was pretty surprised.  But not about the rumors discussion (I didn’t recommend paying that much attention.)

Spending the first 5 minutes of your team meeting on anything other than CORE stuff is a terrible, tragic waste.

A simple way to “get” this is to ask yourself: of all the things on your meeting agenda - and if you don’t have an agenda, then on your “list” - which one is most likely to get done?

The first one.

Think of the start of each week’s team meeting as prime real estate.  It’s yours.  Don’t give it up.  Make it serve you.

Or after a while, the rumors will be about you.  And if you haven’t learned it yet: rumors about you are the ones no one will talk about.

Really - this post isn’t about rumors.

No, I’m not sharing the answer yet.

BUT!  Mike and I were so pleased by the responses, we’re going to deliver the answer in a podcast, coming out in the next week or two.  And, we’re going to go over all the blog comments, and address the points everyone has made.

We’re shooting it tonight, so if you have comments you want addressed, now’s the time.  We’ll do our best to include the late ones.

[This post does not endorse nor suggest the continuation of on-the-fly, spur-of-the-moment casts.  There’s still plenty of work to be done that can’t be shoehorned into a busy schedule.  Thanks - H]

Stephen Morison asked a question about my book* today on the forums, and my answer ended up being my 1,000th post on the forums.  Thanks Stephen.    [And thanks to Kaspar for informing me of the milestone.]

[Mike is the second most prolific poster on the forums, with 155 posts, and a special tip of the hat to PierGiorgio of Italy who is third with 133.  Forza Azzurri!]

I literally could not have done it without you, our listeners and members.  Mike and I are talking about how to reward those members who really contribute to the community, and this celebratory moment will speed up those discussions.  We appreciate the time you spend with us, and are glad so many of you GET value from our work, and CREATE value for others.

I’d be happy to get to 2,000 in half the time it took to get here!

* - Yes, the book was finished at 10 pm New Year’s Eve. 

…does not make it any less foolish.

About a year ago, I heard about someone creating a video resume.  I thought then that it was an incredibly dumb idea, except in the RARE case that in the job you’re applying for, an appealing digitized image, and your ability to speak on camera, were required skills.

But now I note that the Wall Street Journal has written an article about some people using this technique.  They profile one person who created such a thing, and the story suggests that offers rained down on her. 

This story is anecdotal. The idea is still horrendously dumb.

I will give you ONE reason why you should NOT, under ANY circumstances, create a video resume, no matter how desperate things in your search appear.  I need only give one because it crushes the idea under its boot heel.  But rest assured I have many more.

You are not CNN. 

But that is who the recruiter will compare you to.

The video product you create will be compared to the most recent example the recruiter has of a professional speaking on camera, to a camera: the news media.  Those video images are professionally produced by staffs of hundreds, with million dollar equipment, the best professional editing in the world, and sound quality that is unmatched.  You will look like a dork, even if you think you’re so very cool.

I had posted about this in the forums a few weeks ago, I think, and was hoping that the silly trend would go away, and I wouldn’t have to say anything else.  But then the Journal got in on the act.

Do not do this thing.  The million fool chorus will end in tears.

A bad resume on paper is better than a good resume in video.